Does a father have 50/50 rights to custody of his children?

No. The law does not specify how much time children should spend with each parent and there is no rule as to 50/50 sharing of custody. The welfare and best interests of the child are the paramount consideration when deciding on custody arrangements.  

What are some examples of common custody arrangements? Some common joint custody arrangements are:

Children spend week-about with each parent

Children spend three days per week with one parent and four with the other five days with each parent, followed by two with each parent two days with one parent, five with the other, five days with the first parent, then two with the other.   A joint custody arrangement is not always in your child’s best interests and there are a number of options available. A shared care arrangement need not consist of a substantially equal time-split, it may be that one parent has the children on the weekends or every second weekend.  

How should I decide what custody arrangement is best for myself and my children?

Key Factors Time – Do you have enough time to spend with your children? For example if you cannot be home until 6pm during the week, you might be better to have them on the weekend.

Location – How far apart do you and your ex partner live? Consider that your children will probably need to remain at the same school and also think about the logistics of moving them between houses.

Stability – Can you provide your children with stability? This is relevant in an emotional and physical sense. You need to be in a frame of mind in which you can put the needs of your child first. You also need to have adequate facilities in terms of a stable home, bedrooms, furniture, toys and books.

Relationship with your ex partner – It is important that the children’s upbringing remains consistent to avoid children having to abide by two sets of rules. In order to achieve this, it is best if the parties can communicate effectively regarding their children. Try to separate out your relationship as former partners and your relationship as parents.  

Children under 5 years of age vs over 5 years of age

Parents should consider the difference in appropriate custody arrangements between children of under and over five years of age. Children under five are likely to display signs of distress where their routines are disrupted to any great extent, so as much certainty and consistency as possible is very important. This is particularly relevant for toddlers and infants whose sleeping and feeding patterns are very important. Children over five years of age and particularly more than eight years are able to cope better with changing environments and are old enough to begin communicating their own views. There is more scope then to share a greater proportion of the care with your ex partner without too much disruption to the children’s lives and also to involve the children in decisions made. Preserving the welfare and best interests of your child should always be your first priority.  

I work full-time, do I have to be a “weekend dad”?

If you are a father with a busy job, you do not need to be a “weekend dad”. It is certainly possible for you to have a significant share of the care of your children, and we can help you in obtaining a custody arrangement which you are happy with.  

Am I a guardian of my children?

Generally the mother and father are joint guardians of the child; parents are often referred to as ‘natural guardians’. However, although the mother is an automatic guardian, the father is only a guardian if: he was married to or in a civil union with the child’s mother at any time from conception to birth; or the child was conceived before 1 July 2005 and he was in a de facto relationshipwith the child’s mother at birth, or the child was conceived on or after 1 July 2005, and they were in a de facto relationship at the time the child was born, or both their names are on the child’s birth certificate; or the Family Court has appointed or declared the father a guardian.  

I am not a guardian under the Act, how can I become one?

The father who is not married to or in a de facto relationship with the mother canapply to be appointed a guardian by the Family Court. The Court will generally do this unless it is against the child’s best interests. A father may wish to be appointed as a guardian instead of the mother. To do this, the father needs to show the Court that the mother is either unwilling or for some grave reason, unfit to carry out her guardianship responsibilities. In addition, the father must show the Court that because of this, the child’s welfare and best interests would be served by an order in his favour.

The court requires very strong evidence from the father when considering this kind of application and an order will not be made lightly. A father who is already a guardian of a child can apply to the Family Court to make a declaration of guardianship and recognise their guardianship status officially. It might be wise to do this in a situation where a mother and father have separated, and the mother has indicated she doesn’t want the father involved in the child’s life. Generally, if a father wishes to be involved in his child’s life, his relationship with the mother was more than fleeting, and he has not had guardianship rights removed, the Court will make the declaration. However as always, the paramount consideration will be the welfare and best interests of the child.  

How can I get more contact with my children?

Keep a diary – record conversations you have regarding your children, decisions you and your ex come to, questions you have and any advice you have received. This will be of great help in remembering details if the care of your children comes into dispute later on.

Stay calm – when emotions run high, we can often make rash decisions which can have far-reaching consequences. Try to keep a clear head, it is in the best interests of you and your family to do so.

Understand and address the concerns of the other party – If your ex partner expresses concerns about your behaviour or lifestyle, take the time to think about those and address them. Flying off the handle will not help your situation so remain calm in the face of criticism and do your best to be understanding and show you are making changes.

Work towards a better relationship – if relations with your children’s mother are strained, do your best to work toward improving those. Try to separate your relationship as ex partners and your relationship as parents. Your children will benefit greatly if this can be achieved.

Meet your obligations – do what you can to ensure you maintain a consistent routine, particularly with the children, and try to pay all bills on time.

Maintain normality – as well as keeping up a stable routine, you should do your best to keep a sense of normality in the time your children spend with you. This means doing normal everyday activities and not continually treating them to gifts or trips to their favourite places.

Get Involved – Participate as much as you can in your children’s lives. This might include getting more involved with their school and/or any extra-curricular activities such as sport or music.

Make the most of contact – Even if you are not satisfied with the amount of contact you get, make the most of the time you do have with your children. Avoid any displays of resentment toward their mother and focus on enjoying your time together.

Look after yourself – It is in your children’s best interests for you to be healthy and happy. Eat well, communicate well and maintain a positive attitude.  

What agencies are available to help me?

New Zealand Fathers Groups: The Father and Child Trust – http://fatherandchild.org.nz/

The New Zealand Fatherhood Foundation – http://fatherhoodfoundation.org.nz/

Great Fathers – http://www.greatfathers.org.nz/greatfathers

DIY Father – http://diyfather.com/

Government Office of the Children’s Commissioner – http://www.occ.org.nz/

The Family Court – http://www.justice.govt.nz/family/

How can we help?

Please call us to arrange an appointment. In our first meeting with you, we will explain the law, your options and the outcome you can reasonably expect. We will also advise a fixed fee for your case and the likely time it will take to settle. You can contact us by phone on (09) 309 4647.


“The information posted on this website is prepared for a general audience, without investigation into the facts of any particular case. This information is no substitute for legal advice and does not create a lawyer-client relationship; you are advised to consult with a lawyer on any legal issue.”